Make Other Feel Better with Hug

Free hugs are real life story of a man who offer hugs to strangers in public places. He invited everyone that he met for a free hugs campaign. The man’s name is Juan Mann it showed in the last of his video. He is a tall man and also thin. He has long hair and beard too. He was also wearing glasses. At the first he was wearing red coat, blue T-shirt and brown trousers. And next day he changed his clothes. He was wearing a T-shirt, a tie and brown trousers. He brought a sign reads “free Hugs” to reach the attention of the people on the street. First, he walked around on the street with the sign that he brought. But no one respect heeds his invitation, instead the people keep walking and some of them laughed at him. Then, the turning point caused the free hugs to begin to happen, when the old women respect with him and she gave him big hug. The women made point of view of the other people changed.  Then, the people followed the act of the old women to give him a huge hug. After that, some of them hug each other in that place. Juan Mann motives eventually gave way to a gradual increase of people willing to be hugged, with other people male and female. At the first, when the police saw these activities they banned it. They tried to stop the campaign. Because of that, the man and the people made the other way to get their target. Mann and his companions used a petition to attempt to convince authorities that his campaign should be allowed to continue. After that, they didn’t just give a hug, but also signatures. That was really unbelievable, His petition reached 10,000 signatures. He submitted it and was allowed to continue giving free hugs. Finally, they did the same thing, they hug each other invariably the police also did it. So, after watching this video, in short, we need to respect each other. The hugs are mean to be an act of kindness - selfless which is performed just to make others feel better. Even we have many differences but we are the same, we have and we need love. We need to share our love and our happiness to the other people.

The outline of free hug from Maysa writting

Free Hug Campaign

In the first scene, some people didn’t want to give hug for a man, a there are some of those who were recorded with his phone, even some people didn’t care at him. But he did not give up until he found an older woman who would hold her. After that, three woman younger than the first woman was coming at a man from another side in another time. They gave him a free hug. The fourth person is the first men who want to hug him. Next is a girl again. Next a man met with a pair friendship and offered to hold a paper that says "FREE HUGS", and they are agreed to help a man. Some people want to hug them. And then, the girl wants to offer herself in that place. Finally everybody hugs with other guy with their style. When a man tried to invited the policeman to hug him, but he refused and did not agree with the campaign which is held by a man who uses the red suit. Although, the police forbade him but he didn’t give up or that campaign. He collected signatures of people who agree with his activities with used make the petition until it reaches the target in order to collect 10,000 supporters of campaign "free hugs". And in the end, the police gave permission to the man they are even willing to embrace the campaign supporters. The main point in this paragraph is the people have forgotten the tradition of giving someone a hug. Though the hug was something free, but people rarely use it to strengthen a person.

Topic sentence                            :  (The main point in this paragraph is the people have forgotten the tradition of giving someone a hug.)

1.      Major supporting sentence 1   : Some people didn’t want to give hug for a man.

Minor supporting sentence 1   : Some of those who were recorded with his phone.

Minor supporting sentence 2   : Some people didn’t care at him.

2.      Major supporting sentence 2   : They gave him a free hug.

Minor supporting sentence 1   : He found an older woman who would hold her.

Minor supporting sentence 2    : man met with a pair friendship and offered to hold a paper that says "FREE HUGS".

Minor supporting sentence 3   : Some people want to hug them.

3.      Major supporting sentence 3   : A man tried to invited the policeman to hug him.

Minor supporting sentence 1    : He refused and did not agree with the campaign.

Minor Supporting sentence 2 : He collected signatures of people who agree with his activities with used make the petition until it reaches the target in order to collect 10,000 supporters of campaign "free hugs” 
Minor supporting sentences 3 : the police gave permission to the man they are even willing to embrace the campaign supporters.

Concluding sentences                 : Though the hug was something free, but people rarely use it to strengthen a person.

After I read your post, I think it’s good. At the beginning you tell the process of free hug in detail, one by one.  You already use the time signal on your paragraph. I think you should carefully to check your sentences. I found ‘’to invited’’ that should be ‘’to invite’’. and I think some of your sentences are too long. I suggest you, maybe you should define your long sentence become two or three sentences. Thank you.